Home Q&A with Wendy Links Important Medical note Q & A with Wendy Oliver-Pyatt Why did you write Fed Up? I wrote Fed Up, because I'm AM Fed Up! I'm saddened and even angry with the countless patients, friends, and colleagues I've encountered throughout my life who are needlessly tormented by a conflict between their need to eat, and their desire to achieve a fit body. I notice, when in conversations at work, parties, and in everyday life, that many people are more concerned about counting the calories they've ingested, than they are in socializing or sharing stories about their lives and new ideas. I'm alarmed by the energy, time, and money being spent on diet products, and weight loss schemes, and the futility of such plans. Having suffered, and being robbed of years of joy in my own life, I was compelled to share my experience. As a person who once lived with a fear of bread in my house, who now truly has a relaxed relationship with food, I understand the significance of a tense and uneasy relationship with food. The interest in sharing the 10 Steps heightened as I began to implement the 10 Steps into the care I provided patients. When I observe the beneficial effects in my practice, it is very gratifying. A short time ago, I worked with a chronic dieter who eventually went swimming with her son; she and ate an ice-cream cone completely guilt free while wearing a bathing suit. Observing her participation in life was very rewarding! Your program and book points out many of the cultural influences affecting perceptions about acceptable body size, but seems to especially focus on challenges and conflicts women face-is your program just for women? I was traveling on a plane back from my first meeting with my editor in Chicago, and as chance would have it, I sat next to an older gentleman (probably 65+). We began to speak about Fed Up, but when he asked me more questions, my response was, "Oh, it probably wouldn't really pertain to you". I figured he probably didn't spend much time worrying about how he looked or the shape and size of his body. Well, surprise! He had been struggling to lose weight, and like most Americans, believed it depended on his adhering to a diet, yet he didn't really feel capable of doing so. His face lit up with excitement when I discussed Step Four, "Learn to Trust, Experience, and Enjoy both Hunger and Satiation". He recognized his own tendency why, for a complicated set of reasons that he began to think about, he consistently ate far past the point of being full. For many people (male or female, young or old), eating past the point of being physically hungry, even to a point of being physically uncomfortable, is not uncommon. It was eye opening to have this airplane conversation, because the last person on earth I thought I might be able to help was an older man! I should mention, however, that more and more men of all ages are becoming preoccupied with their body size and shape, and starting to diet. The risk for developing serious problems related to food and body preoccupation seems particularly high in gay men, or in male (and female) athletes, where their weight is a serious part of their athleticism. How would you like to see Fed Up! impact our society? I would like to see a nationwide "rethinking" of the impact of dieting and maintaining mental lists of good and bad foods. I am urging people to consider the psychological factors affecting weight loss, so that people will begin to realize that they haven't' failed at dieting, but that dieting has failed them. What problem do you hope to help people solve, and why is it so important to you? I help people take the necessary steps to achieve life long fitness and a relaxed relationship with food. This problem is extremely serious. There are 6 million obese children; many of them are being told to diet (either directly or indirectly), which places them at risk for the development of eating disorders. There are no other psychiatric conditions that have more medical consequences (including death in 18% of seriously ill anorexics). Furthermore, half of all women and about a fourth of all men diet, and only 3 percent will ever lose weight and keep it off. This struggle takes an enormous mental and physical toll on the person, and causes the person to experience significant shame, guilt and self-blame, when it is really not that they have failed at dieting, but that dieting has failed them. What makes you different from other doctors, or diet programs that are trying to help people lose weight? I am a sister sufferer. I have been there. Other "diet doctors" fail to take into account the psychological factors involved in weight loss, simply recommending behavioral changes that few if any people can really maintain over the long term. I am a psychiatrist, with medical training too, and I have been there. I am willing to share my personal experiences including the experience of being bulimic, and the process I went through to attain my own health. A practicing psychiatrist who treats those with food and body preoccupation, I am interested in sharing from what I have learned while helping others with food and body concerns. What opinion do you have which is "counter-intuitive" for most people? I tell people that they have the answer within themselves. They can take themselves, and the sensations of hunger and satiation seriously. Instead of looking to a diet or mental lists (external rules) to tell a person what to eat, I tell my patients to search for what they are hungry for, and eat it when they are hungry, incorporating the freedom to eat whatever they want with the responsibility of remaining connected self while eating. I give tools to the reader so they can do this, and no longer binge or "emotionally graze". I tell the reader "Don't eat a salad when you want a burger"! Why do people seem to have a strong reaction to what you are saying? People, I believe, care about what I have to say because they are tired of trying to lose weight diet after diet, and year after year, without ever achieving long term results. When people are able to take that leap of faith, and begin to believe they can trust themselves, they begin to experience a great deal of emotional relief from the torment of dieting. And when they diligently follow the steps, their binging and emotional grazing begins to subside, their mental health begins to improve, their metabolism begins to get going, and they are on their way to long term fitness of body AND mind. When was your lowest point? My lowest point was when I was in college, when I employed various strategies in my efforts to lose weight. I have LOTS of stories. I once told my college roommate, "I see no reason to have bread in this house" (I was afraid I would binge). I used to spray popcorn with water from a water bottle and then sprinkle on this disgusting butter flavored salt, to try to make it have some taste-YUCK! Of course within days of my self-induced starvation I would binge---not so funny, but I can definitely laugh about it now. Why should people try this approach? There is a significant rise in obesity and eating disorders since our society became "weight conscious" (isn't that a bit ironic). In the United States, we spend somewhere between 30-50 billion dollars annually on weight loss products/diets. Can't we put that money to better use? It's time for people to stop depriving themselves of life's joys, including the joy of loving and appreciating their body. Ironically, it is in loving ones body that fitness can be achieved, not in depriving and denying it of it's needs, including it's psychological and biological need to be satiated by food. Unfortunately, it is sometimes very difficult for people to believe they can have a healthy body, while eating what they desire. It is difficult for people to believe this because they've been inundated with the idea that the way to be fit is by maintaining mental lists of good and bad foods. How do family members and friends generally respond when their loved one starts the steps? The responses are varied. I've had some patients get wonderful and supportive responses, while others have family members who have a very difficult time believing this approach can work. In Step Eight, "Break Through the Secrecy", I have a section called "Unhelpful Help", which I hope will give the reader some guidelines and ideas for their interactions with loved ones. A good rule of thumb: Tell family members that as much as they love you and are a part of your life, there are TWO places they don't belong: 1) In the middle of YOUR relationship with food and your body and 2) In the middle of YOUR relationship with yourself. It's hard enough for people working on this; they often already feel ashamed or self conscious because of the problem they are having. They are ashamed of themselves, and secretive about bingeing and emotionally grazing, not realizing this is the natural consequence of dieting. People do need some time and space to work this out, but it is something that, as important as it may be to share the experience with loved ones, is very private in other ways. What's Next? I am just getting started a book which is designed to help readers develop not just a food and body philosophy, but also a life philosophy. I incorporate the notion that to create life in the form we desire, we must concentrate on this goal, just as we must concentrate on ourselves in order to be fit. In it, I will cover all of the planes of a person's life, including the health and medical plane, and the family, financial, education, work, and psychological planes. I am also considering working on a book to help families deal with children struggling with food and body concerns. And I'm hoping I can reach more and more people nationwide with an expansion in my Mindful Eaters (C) Workshops. How has your family influenced you in writing Fed Up? Actually, my husband Michael gave me many of the ideas on exercise. He is a former professional athlete, and I observed his "gym" behavior. It was quite a shock when I first heard him say, "I'm going to go to the gym, I think I'll stretch and take a sauna". Didn't you have to do the Stairmaster for 30 minutes at a heart rate of 160 beats a minute to make it worthwhile? I began to notice how he went to the gym for pleasure, not to achieve some preconceived weight or body shape. There is nobody I know whom exercises more than Michael, but he's doing it for fun! His most recent activity is road biking. He and our neighbor are doing it together, and having quite a ball. So it was through watching him that I realized that it is best if one engages in exercise for stress relief, not to lose weight. Furthermore, as time passed, I began to realize that some of my patients really didn't even feel comfortable in a gym. How can we expect them to be at the same place as my husband who spent 20 years of his life in a gym every single day? Then I began to really look at the literature and research, and discovered that contrary to popular opinion, weight loss is much more associated with whether the person continues the activity, rather than what the actual activity is. So I really have to thank my husband for my philosophy on exercise. And I really have to thank him for putting up with me being on the computer so much! Can you share a "success story"? I feel a tremendous amount of pleasure and relief when I am able to observe a person go from being a binger, or emotional grazer, to a person who really thinks carefully about what they'd like to eat, and then derives the pleasure from eating it. My favorite moment as a therapist is when they finally discover that the DO have the ability to sense satiation, and in fact that they become satiated when they eat the foods they desire. Again, it's important to remember that feeling satiated from eating is both a psychological and biological drive that we need to take seriously. Then, in therapy, we extrapolate from the importance of taking hunger and satiation seriously, to the level of taking oneself seriously. Then we see people really start to grow! My favorite line from a patient who really took the exercise step seriously was that she had begun walking twice a day, and that it was, "Delicious"! She was a person who once seriously considered stomach bypass surgery, and she had lost 22 pounds, the last time she mentioned her weight to me. Furthermore, she is enjoying herself and loving herself for reasons far more important than her weight! Contact Wendy You can contact Wendy by sending email to: woliver@oliverpyattcenters.com or calling Mindful Eaters at 866.511.HEAL (4325)